Spenglishionary

I have devised a 'Spenglishionary' to help teach Spenglish to our unfortunately overly under-funded schools' students. You may be startled to know that 95% of students under the age of 25 are currently unaware of Spenglish and it's fine-lined curriculum. So, as a Spenglishian, it is my duty to explain to those unknowledged people of the world how and what Spenglish actually is.
And what better way to achieve this then to create a Spenglishionary?

I guarantee that after just one reading, the highly controversial, yet essential language of Spenglish will be of second nature to you. It may even become your most spoken language, like my fellow Spenglishians and I. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and learn!

Munch's Spenglishionary currently consists of 29 words.

- A -

A-Parade Tan
Disgustingly unfashionable colouration of the skin found around the general knee area, acquired from spending countless hours sitting at A-Parade.

Anti-subheteromaniac
Regretfully erotic character with the god-given talent of being able to click his fingers, created during a class of Scademy.

Ask Alex
Fictional character based upon a real-life smartarse who knows everything.
See also, Ask Alex

- B -

Brine Rime, The
Highly emotional jig invented by Pieboy to describe Brine and his crazy antics.

Business With Todd (BWT)
Horrifically unjust subject involving Todd, a creature that lives on the dying pleas of the humans that he infests.

- C -

COGS
Actually it's a Combination Of Greg and Subordinate.

col
Short for "Cough Out Loud," a more than worthy substitute for lol.

- D -

- E -

- F -

Fat Name, The
Outrageously enormous name comprising a countless hoard of individuals, continually increasing due to ever-escalating numbers of morbidly obese beings.
See also, The Fat Name

- G -

GEM
GEM (possibly short for Goe's Electronic Merchandise) is the greatest video ever created, and is the only movie ever to be given a 5 star rating by Champion Munch.

Great Relics Of The Modern World, The
7 Supreme objects decided upon by a panel of expert judges as being the greatest modern day relics, in the penultimate term of the previous year to 2004. In no particular order of merit they are:

Pieboy's Original Orange Cap
Bryn's Rubber Band Ball
Jason's Original Flexy Ruler
Nat's POJ Rubber
Munch's Fat Folder (Second Edition)
Jason's Prestige Maths Text Book
The Racist Bit of Pedifile Plywood

Since the compilation of 'The Great Relics of the Modern World', all of the objects have unfortunately, but inevitably, been lost, discarded, eclipsed or fallen into misuse.

- H -

HazChemo
HazChemo is lots of fun, or so the saying goes. It's actually Chemo, but I had nothing for H so I stuck it here instead.

- I -

- J -

JAM
Remarkably erotic subject involving Japanese, Accounting, a mammoth, a carrot-eating supposed ex-soccer player who obsesses with water conservation and a crazy Chinese acrobat.

Julian's Fanclub
Bizarre mob of people consisting of Sheina, Christina and Alex who consider themselves to be 'Julian's Fanclub'. Forever stalking their idol, his fanclub has forced Julian to permanently ground himself for fear of his life (hence the number of days absent from school).

- K -

- L -

Latitude
People congregate from all over the world to attend this enjoyable pent-weekly lesson and discuss the finer points of Radish's lack of attendance.

- M -

Miss My-Voice-Gone
First teacher added to The Fat Name. Unable to speak above the inconsiderably high levels of noise that consistently accumulates during lessons of Maths, containing an extremely large and distracting protruding lump on her throat homogenous to an Adam's Apple usually found upon a throat of a male Homo Sapien, whose knowledge extends no further than the text book being held underneath the fungal-infested, stale-smelling thing that one may refer to as being somewhat similar to a human hand.
It was of little surprise she was fired after her first term.

MunchCorp
Suicidal organisation whose ridiculous regulations force it's members to provide outrageous sums of money that no country could disburse without bankrupting it's own economy.
See also, MunchCorp.

- N -

Necrol Dexteria Disorder (NDD)
Disease that appears to infect just a single human being; Heber. No other known creature has been found to exhibit the disorder, and what it does exactly is still a mystery.

- O -

- P -

Pieboy's Fanclub
A suspicious group of individuals who, by law, are required to spend at least 23 hours a day surrounding Pieboy or some Pieboy-related paraphernalia. This illustrious faction can commonly be found within about 5cm of Pieboy, parading banners and balloons they made depicting their hero.

POJ
Literally stands for 'Prisoner Of Jason'. Cheap concept name created whilst in a (regularly) uninteresting lesson of Maths, during Miss-My-Voice-Gone's tirade, solely for the purpose of drawing upon Nat's pencil case/property.
See also, The Story of POJ for more details.

- Q -

- R -

Radish
Short for 'Fat Head Angry Red Red Radish'. Creature existing for the sole purpose of keeping Tim company......because no one else would. Currently a member of the Spenglish activist group, Radish survives each day through his diet of 10 cokes and 15 eclairs.

- S -

Scademy
Taught by the outrageously intellectually and mentally unstable Mr. Maddox, the aptly named subject 'Scademy' has been constructed to allow students who, usually being intelligence deprived, are given ridiculously unfair opportunities to gain an extra hour of sleep by attending a weekly slaughter arrangement that - rather than increasing the intelligence quotas of the participating members - results in erotic outcomes such as spending an hour of detention with Maddox.

Simon Spencer & The Gang of Nutters
David Lather's hopelessly erotic and decisively unincontinental book considered by critics to be "extremely dangerous" and "regretfully unruly". Allegedly he has been illegally smuggling the in-progress manuscript into the school grounds, and the reward for his capture has reached more than 20 cents.

Some Bum
Name pertaining not to anyone in particular, a word usually referred to whilst in a conversation where a person forgets/doesn't know the name of some body else.

Spam Week
The very first traditional week of the fourth week of June every year, during which time it is highly encouraged to eat spam, spam random items or promote spam in general.

Spenglish
Subject currently available for students at Cav Road wishing to commit suicide.

- T -

- U -

- V -

- W -

Warm Wall, The
Irresistable recluse for students wishing to garner a few more seconds of sunlight from our horribly under-powered sun before slinking back into the dungeon-esque Scademy bowl.

Weird Kid, The
Outlandishly weird creature (pronounced where-d, thankyou very much Bryn) whose unlawfull habits have given him an impeccabley proactive outlook, so much so that he now resides in an abode undignified by the presence of himself. Because he is often found wearing long pants on hot Summer days, more than one person has been fooled into thinking he is the reincarnation of God himself.

Would You Do It For Randolph Scott Week
A traditional week in August or October aimed at forcing people to follow others requests. When you ask a question during this week and someone declines, ask them if they would do it for Randolph Scott. Subsequent denial can be received only if the person is Randolph Scott, which is unlikely since he is dead.

- X -

- Y -

Ye Olde Literal Day Week
Traditional week occupying the week before Spam Week where you have to take everything everyone says literally.

- Z -

All words in Munch's Spenglishionary are 100% munch-made, except for Radish and POJ and a few others.

Spenglishionary's Legitimacy

Many people have called to my attention the legitimacy of the Spenglishionary, claiming that Spenglish contains far too few words for it to be actually considered a language. So I had a moving chat with my good mate (who also happened to be bird dealer) in his mansion. After many hours of discussion, he agreed that as long as I periodically added more words to the Spenglishionary, I would be able to keep on calling it a language.

Last updated: 16^th July 2006